“The Niblack Mine” by Guy Archibald

(Sung to the theme for “The Beverly Hillbillies”)

[Opening theme]

Come and listen to my story about a mine that wouldn’t die

Dug a weeping hole while the state stood idle by

Prince of Wales Island now leaks from its southeast side
And will do so forever, never to reside

Acid that is, orange Gatorade

On the promise of wealth, they gave them a permit

Just dump it into the forest to get rid all of it

But it freezes in Alaska, often to the bone

So let’s dump in the ocean inside a mixing zone

The sea, that is, salmon land, fishermen

Well the first thing they know is how to treat the water

But the state steps in and says ‘why bother’

Despite the promise you made, you are really quite poor

To protect your bottom line is where we close the door.

Salaries that is, dividends

The project shuts down when investors won’t bite

The permit says clean it up now and close it down tight

But the state folk say, hey watch doing there?

We will grant you extensions since we really don’t care.

Administrative, that is. Don’t tell anyone

Well, time goes by and the pipe is never built

Back into the forest without an ounce of guilt.

Because trees love acid more than do the fish

And they are far less likely to end up on your dish

Acid it is, marinade

So the Niblack lives like Schrodinger’s famous cat

And in the surrounding woods is where it dumps its scat

Potentially too profitable to deny it an approval

It is also too poor to require waste removal

DNR, our land protectors

 [Closing Theme:]

It’s time to say goodbye to the mine and all its sin.
And we would like to thank you folks fer kindly droppin in.
You’re all invited back to complain to DNR
But unless you are a mine, you won’t get very far.

Politics, that is. Re$ources

Y’all come back now, y’hear?

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